Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Blog Series: Love Letters
Welcome to my new Love Letters blog series. Another blog series with no set posting schedule; for sharing as I am able. These are real, actual letters I have written over the years; the first number of posts are actually over the course of a few months to the only person I've ever fell in love with at first sight; yes I believe in love at first sight and true, endless, romantic love. You can call me a dreamer...love is real. I have done my best to hide any indication of real people and/or places to maintain the privacy of other people. I doubt she'll be reading this anyway & that most of you will not have an indication as to the recipient(s). Enjoy.
"September 2nd, xxxx
Hello my Love. I just finished talking to you on the phone and it's only been hours since I saw you last and already my heart is heavy with sorrow. It feels as though a thousand years have passed and that thousands more await me before I can see your pretty face again. I feel so very lost here without you. I feel so incomplete. I'm not sure I can do this so far away from you. My heart is crying out in anguish and I feel as though I have betrayed myself by leaving. Since my son died I have never been capable of being happy; of being complete; of being myself, yet with you I have regained much of that person I used to be. I can look at myself in the mirror and not hate the person I see staring back at me. I can face each new day with such a feeling of invincibility and perseverance that it's as though there were nothing beyond my reach; everything but you that is. I want to leave right now to come home. That's what you called it; home. I'm not sure if you know just how much that means to me. My heart overflows with joy to think that you consider my home there with you. I cannot begin to explain to you just how touching and emotional this means to me. You are everything I will ever need or desire out of this life or the next. You told me I could come home anytime I wanted and though I am already prepared, there is a reason I am here like there is a reason we have found one another. When I understand my purpose here or when I know that my reason for being here is gone, I will be gone in the same heart beat. Something, the same force which has reunited us and given us this love, has brought me here and I cannot leave until I know what it is I'm doing here. I can only pray that you will have the strength to endure the pain that we both are going through right now, but I also know I don't have to pray because that same force tells me that we will be together. Sometimes I think maybe my purpose in being here is to make us both realize just what we mean to one another; to make us understand and truly appreciate this blessed love we have found in one another. I can only wait to know for sure. I know that it won't be long before we are together again, as brief as it may be, yet my heart longs for the comfort of holding your body against mine. You are the light that shines ahead of me so as to make sure I am not led astray. You are my love, my life, my every desire. I won't be here to finish my xxxxxx, of this I am aware. It's something I think I've known for some time or perhaps it's a decision I made without conscious thought; i don't know. What I do know is that for now, it is here that I must remain, no matter how much I feel my heart is breaking, because that very same heart is telling me I must. The heart does not lie and it will not commit treason against itself. In this respect I know that even though my heart longs for you and that with all my heart I love you, it has brought me here for something and as it brought me here, so it will return me to you so that it may become complete once more. I love you with all my heart and soul and I would gladly give my life for you. You belong to me as I belong to you and there is nothing will keep us apart or stifle our love. This was meant to be; we are meant to be. You can call it what you may but I have to to acknowledge it as fate and you cannot stop fate; nobody can. I miss you so much it hurts but fear not and keep your head held high for it won't be long until we're together again like we belong; like we are meant to be. I love you.