Thursday, March 15, 2012

Series "An Ode To" #2: "An Ode To Bryan Heisner"

Dear Bryan,

It has been some time since we last spoke and when we did, I was able to clear my conscious of some of the negative thoughts I took with me the last time we saw one another. At that time things between you and I went very bad, very quickly. Still to this day, I'm not sure exactly what it was that came between us but I want you to know that losing your friendship was a very difficult time for me.

You had an impact on my life in way that no other person has ever had. The bond of friendship that was created when we became friends was as strong as a familial bond. From the beginning of our friendship we were very close. There was some sort of deeper connection that I shared with you that I have really yet to find in anyone else. Thank you for that experience.

When I look back upon our friendship, I am truly grateful. I'm going to use the word soulmate to describe what you once meant to me. I know that it is more commonly used when talking about romantic love, but that is what you felt like to me. You were closer to me than family and I loved you like a brother. The closeness between us during our friendship is one that I cherish and look back upon with great fondness. In a crazy mixed up world, having someone as grounded as you nearby got me through some dark times.

We went through a lot together; good and bad. I remember going to visit our old apartment in the North West at four in the morning. We cried for a few minutes outside, thinking and reminiscing about the times we spent there. I think that's the only time I have ever seen you cry. You were always much more in control of your emotions than I was. That moment I think we were closer than any other time we were friends.

I want to thank you for your friendship. You used to live by a creed that everyone has something for us and that once that has been accomplished, it is time to move on. I guess in my head I hoped that we would always be friends; or at the very least we would have many more years of journeying through life together. Life was always good regardless of things having someone like you with whom I connected so personally.

I have ideas on what caused the strain in our friendship. Five years is a long time to spend with anyone on a consistent basis and though I am sure there are mistakes that must be attributed to me, you are guilty of your own mistakes but I'm not here for regrets; I'm here for thanks and I have much to thank you for. You were a good friend and an honest person with me at all times; never once making up white lies to save my feelings. You were a true friend.

I've read you are going to be a father now and though it surprises me, I am very happy for you. I think that you gave me more than I had to offer you (though only you can be the judge on the value of what you learned from me) and some of what I have learned and taken from you has served me as an invaluable tool in my life. So thank you Bryan Heisner, for setting an example of what it really means to be a friend. I wish you all the best in your life and whatever anger, resentment or bitterness I carried, I have long since lost and I hope that any you may have harbored towards me are also long since disappeared. You are a great friend; a great man; and I am sure you will be nothing less than a great father.

With all the love one can have for another, I wish you all the best and hope that as we continue down our own roads of life, that our paths will cross once more.