Monday, April 30, 2012

For All The "Steve's" Out There

"When you have time maybe you could help me understand how you deal with stupidity on a daily basis without getting pissed." -Steve

This is kind of a loaded question or statement Steve. I'll do my best to explain it but I will start by saying that first and foremost it required (of me) a complete shift in perspective and consciousness. It required (of me) a dedication and persistence to mental discipline that I had previously never undertaken before. I will do everything I can to help you understand how I deal with anger; at just about anything.

The first thing you should know is that I was formerly a focused, analytical thinker. I was about cold hard facts, science and rationality. There did not exist much place in my mind for anything besides logic, let alone the ignorance of those I encountered. Because of this I developed a bitterness and resentment towards people at large and as time went on, so did my anger. I became more quick to anger at the ignorance of others because I could not understand how such simple concepts could not be understood. It was a very dark time in my life that contributed in part to what you may have read in my Addictions series posts. 

There is an understanding you must come to; a conclusion you must reach before you can move beyond this train of thought. That answer is this: logic and reason do not possess all the answers nor can they ever. I had to abandon the notion that everything can be explained; everything has an answer and that most importantly, and this is crucial, that like all those "ignorant" people out there, I did not have all the answers, I would never have all the answers and to a great many other people out there, I was part of the ignorant people. The thought had never occurred to me, in my arrogance, that I was one of those people to someone else.

That discovery lead me down a path I abandoned too frivolously in the past; an exploration of the other half of me. The emotion, the spiritual, the creative, the imaginary, the oneness. Now don't go reading too far into that, I'm not dancing under the full moon naked, sacrificing a goat or anything of that nature. No. I have come to understand the futility of division. I need all those things as much as I do my analytic things to truly understand myself which in turn permits me to understand my environment and those found within it. This self-exploration, I think, is the answer to what you are seeking.

I tried very hard to control my emotions and this only made it worse. Not until I learned that I must embrace or channel them instead did I really learn to understand them at all. You see, when I actually realized how very little I actually did know in the grand scheme of things; when I compared myself to brilliant people of the past and present and fell so very short I realized one of the most important revelations necessary for human development: humility. I was humbled by my own quest for knowledge. I discovered empathy; true empathy when first humility really struck me. I immediately understood the ignorance of the people; some chosen, some forced, some oblivious.

All of these things, perhaps some that I have missed, have brought me to where I am today. Those realizations, epiphanies, revelations or whatever; they were all necessary for my own self-discovery. With the humility of understanding that not everyone has the strengths (or weaknesses) that I do; that every individual learns at a different level and in a different way; that every individual shares the same emotions I do (however varying the degree) and how those emotions affect me, affect them as well; the realization that the world and society in which we live has created an environment in which the reality of life is so hard to face that it is easier to ignore it and succumb to "spiritual" death; that, that is how I do it Steve.

How can I speak maliciously with intent to hurt you knowing how I would feel if it was done to me?
How can I strike you down knowing how it would feel to be struck?
How can I hate knowing what it feels to be hated?
How can I be angry knowing what it feels to be the cause or focus of anger?
How can I do anything bad to you, or others, in any way, in any fashion, at any time knowing how that would feel being done to me?

You see, I don't get angry any more. Anger has been replaced with other emotions because anger can serve no purpose other than to harm. Depending on the situation, depends on the emotion:

1) Pity - If the person(s) in question are so indoctrinated, so deep into their delusion that I know that nothing I can do will cause any change in them how can I be angry with that? They have been bred into delusion. I cannot be angry, only feel pity for them and hope someday they realize their errors. 

2) Joy - If the person(s) in question gets so angry because a realization has been made that challenges some fundamental belief or truth they thought they knew. How can I be angry when someone, who has been taught to fear change, is struggling with an ethical or fundamental truth? Their anger is the proper response for what they are going through internally; however, if you are the manifestation of that epiphany, you should also expect them to manifest their anger unto you. They don't know it's an internal fight; they believe it to be external and won't understand that until later.

3) Sorrow - This happens when people know the truth, are aware of the truth and yet choose to go on ignoring it nonetheless. When I say sorrow, it is not the same as pity. I'm talking my heart aches for them. Had I not exhausted (or at least for the time being) so many tears already in life, I would weep for some of them. I cannot be angry with someone like this, only deeply, deeply saddened.

4) Hope - This one is the most common and it is the big contributing factor to it all. Most of those ignorant people have absolutely no idea about their ignorance. For those reading this, please understand that the word ignorant hear is not necessarily meant to be an insult or a slight. Ignorant just means to be unaware; to not know. That is the primary sense in which I use it. There are a few times (and I'm sure you are able to discover them if you go back and try) where I used it in another meaning: to purposely be or pretend to be unaware. The second is hardest of the two to work your emotions through. But the first is thankfully the larger majority and that is why Hope is the big player. I know that this majority just lacks understanding and education. The more I share information, the more I contribute to the overall ability for them to learn (at their own pace) truth and fact. You cannot force things upon anyone at anytime and expect a positive outcome. Doesn't happen. With humility, empathy and self discovery you will understand this in yourself and then necessarily in others. Even this response cannot be enough alone to suddenly let you not be angry with people. But understand that people are learning; people are becoming aware; and people are waking up. They crave their past, social lives where they mixed and mingled with others; they long for the communities of past where a neighbor was a friend and not 'some person who lived next door'; they reminisce of days when all the things I wrote about were normal every day occurrences and people like me didn't need to write about how to be nice; we just were.

So Steve, that's how I do it. Five years of self-discovery and the most exciting and drastic has only really occurred in the last six to eight months. Don't be discouraged and don't lose hope. The people are smarter than you or I have given them credit for now or in the past. They are disassociated; they are segregated; they are divided; they are separated. All of the things you say that are going on that make you angry are; they're all true. That does not mean they are permanent. People used to be happier; they are starting to remember that. Like you, like me, they were caught up in the explosion of technology and human achievement. There were many mistakes made; and even more prior to that and we have lost touch with what matters in life. Right now, as I write this there is a change happening all around the world. Don't lose hope Steve, or anyone else for that matter. As Bob Dylan once wrote, The times they are a changin'; for the better. Smile.

1 comment:

  1. I never really expected an answer from you and want to say thank you for taking the time to explain how you deal with anger issues. The way you use your words to express your emotions are such that I not only understand but feel as though I am living the moments as I read. I sometimes inadvertently hurt others with my words but it isn't on purpose. I just lack the ability to verbalize or use the right words to explain myself or a specific thought. It is easy to sit here and write this because I can back up, correct my spelling, reflect, which I can't do in a conversation because what comes out is out without a chance to repair. I am not telling you I can do what you have done to re channel my anger but I do appreciate your time and efforts explaining how you dealt with yours. I would guess that I reflect the ordinary person in many respects in that I have problems which I am constantly looking for answers to. Those answers come from the most unlikely sources and when you least expect them. Thanks again

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